tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.comments2023-10-28T13:16:11.752+03:00Zinta ReviewsZinta Aistarshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14047861403285268505noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-39775839224273034832015-07-09T06:01:22.497+03:002015-07-09T06:01:22.497+03:00The hardest part is finding yourself after abuse. ...The hardest part is finding yourself after abuse. Who were we to begin with before the abuse? I know for myself the pattern started when I was 15 and gang rapped, then at 18 while I was asleep in my bed in a small shack on the beach. It didn't stop there it happen again when I was 20 something and was date rapped. By that time I had self preservations that help me to survive if I didn't I honestly don't think I would be here today. The problem is the numbness takes over after rape and abuse so that you are not fully prepared to make the right choices in careers or marriages. Susceptible to abuse and feeling like I can only be with someone who treats me poorly seemed acceptable almost comfortable. I know the irony is not the reality but I had to live 11 years in a marriage with Dr jackal and Mr Hyde with complete blinders on until he hit me and was arrested. Finally, Mr. Hyde was revealed to not only the world in which we lived but more importantly he was revealed to me. I understand why so many woman stay in an abusive marriage this. They don't cognitively know because we are trying so hard to make everything ok. I would throw big birthday parties, play cards with friends or share marital woes with so called friends to replay the terrible images in my mind so that they were cut in the right places and explained by friends that every marriage is hard. How else could one explain the torment the rage the stalking and the name calling?Lily11https://www.blogger.com/profile/15281256047691751315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-68046706970550950712014-01-03T22:37:12.248+02:002014-01-03T22:37:12.248+02:00I have found that making plans helps me regain per...I have found that making plans helps me regain personal power and self esteem. Going to the gym, running along the beach or walking amongst the trees; watching how I feel and changing my thoughts or seeking help (I use an anti-depression website http://www.depression.org.nz/) if I feel things are getting on top of me. It really is about self awareness. I don't particularly like myself and I find it difficult to really look in the mirror but as long as you know you can overcome and are taking small steps every day, towards your goals and implementing the plans (they don't have to be big plans) then you can change your life for the better. I have found that you have to consciously do the work, consciously choose what it is you want to change. Oh, and stay single for a year or two or however long it takes. No second best for you or me next time. Good luck.<br />thekrribhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00978615487642955362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-21264256142673811492013-04-17T07:47:41.989+03:002013-04-17T07:47:41.989+03:00I will keep an eye out for this. I am reading some...I will keep an eye out for this. I am reading some books and stories by Flannery O'Connor (the award above is named after her) and Alice Munro. I love short stories and novellas and novellas but I can see (or imagine) why you wanted it to be a novel. There ARE a lot of excellent if not great writers hidden behind covers (covers that look uninspiring as in the book reviewed). <br /><br />A good review also. Richardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10272507198753290435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-35033296879019839052013-02-23T23:04:21.693+02:002013-02-23T23:04:21.693+02:00Thank you for that excellent review of Ms. Niewenh...Thank you for that excellent review of Ms. Niewenhuis's book. My friends and I wanted much more after the book was over..like a second book following the characters lives even further. I couldn't stop thinking of them when the book was finished and kept rehashing their lives in my mind for quite some time. I hope this review gets more readers to pick up this little gem. It is so worth the read.milliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03967195724780327240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-65376404700811900422012-02-02T03:48:26.812+02:002012-02-02T03:48:26.812+02:00Hi there! I love your blog! I came across your blo...Hi there! I love your blog! I came across your blog on "Networkedblogs" and am following you.<br /><br />I am also a fellow blogger. When you get a moment, please check out mine and join! http://themusescircle.blogspot.com/<br /><br />Best Wishes,<br /><br />Mia at <a href="http://themusescircle.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">The Muses Circle</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151049901938985698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-47010377948915984992011-10-23T22:38:42.946+03:002011-10-23T22:38:42.946+03:00Author's explanation: the problem with Amerik ...Author's explanation: the problem with Amerik happened when I sometimes spelled it eric and sometimes Erik and used a global find and replace, which interfered with "America". Thanks for noting that. I'll fix it.<br />The book is dedicted to the memory of Glen, a local from Gay, Michigan, who was a CIA agent in Finland, married a Finnish aristocrat who divoced him and took their two boys to Finland. Glen later committed suicide. We shared a common experience as ex-agents. It's an odd brotherhood.Harley L. Sachshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14802012811755908209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-27596827861093237292011-10-18T22:09:59.851+03:002011-10-18T22:09:59.851+03:00I've had a great time reading all of Joe's...I've had a great time reading all of Joe's books, starting with "The Berkut" and into the Woods Cop series. I wasn't sure I'd like a series about the UP DNR cops since I have little familiarity. But, then again, most of my detective novel favorites are in settings far beyond my own. Silly me. If Joe could hook me into reading about Adolf Hitler and a cat-and-mouse game involving an international cast and a wow of a finish, then I had to grab on to something set in my home state. Can't wait to catch up with Grady again.tinygeezerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04846091023515567524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-60684247910275272612011-08-06T17:56:48.512+03:002011-08-06T17:56:48.512+03:00Sadly, the "flirty tips" work with lowes...Sadly, the "flirty tips" work with lowest-common-denominator men. You got half way through? That's discipline!Marytehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13285389121007179915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-36270176075136451912011-08-06T02:25:57.176+03:002011-08-06T02:25:57.176+03:00A thought-provoking review of a shallow and, it se...A thought-provoking review of a shallow and, it seems, irritating book.Erin O'Riordanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14829574740027964039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-69687200526127289872011-07-26T03:32:53.062+03:002011-07-26T03:32:53.062+03:00Little pieces of greatness, agreed! One of my all ...Little pieces of greatness, agreed! One of my all time favorites, especially for reading on the road (as passenger, of course).Zinta Aistarshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14047861403285268505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-20815501358729006832011-07-26T01:45:54.357+03:002011-07-26T01:45:54.357+03:00Just finished it the second time since I ordered i...Just finished it the second time since I ordered it a few months ago...LOVED IT!<br /><br />You are right on...aren't you always!Chef Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11198603107302675448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-80227191549590913002011-05-20T23:43:28.645+03:002011-05-20T23:43:28.645+03:00I thoroughly enjoyed your article, but one may als...I thoroughly enjoyed your article, but one may also argue that the sexual revolution has simply followed every other revolution before into being some distorted shell of what it once stood for. For example, we can look at what democracy has become in the West since the French and American Revolutions, or what business and the environment has become since the Industrial Revolution? <br /><br />Short point made long, we really can't get back on track, as the women's liberation revolution of decades before has been permanently derailed, and will take a new movement and awakening to put women back onto a place of truer power and independence.Jimmy's Groomsmenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01064164576538137448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-86956687424040262192011-04-16T21:57:58.175+03:002011-04-16T21:57:58.175+03:00Thank you for this review. Picked up my copy today...Thank you for this review. Picked up my copy today. Good timing for me to read up.Shanti Perezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08109270967490672456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-13370618749490527912011-04-16T06:21:41.850+03:002011-04-16T06:21:41.850+03:00I have felt exactly the same way about women's...I have felt exactly the same way about women's so-called liberation. We have sold our souls in the name of freedom and are no better for it.Jerihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01101706680762162800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-43612782401692012002011-03-09T02:17:10.599+02:002011-03-09T02:17:10.599+02:00How kind of you, Shirley. I appreciate that. Bonni...How kind of you, Shirley. I appreciate that. Bonnie Jo Campbell is indeed our Kalamazoo treasure. Her books are all worth reading - not only once, but repeatedly. And I don't say that about many books.Zinta Aistarshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14047861403285268505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-79803091986773799552011-03-09T02:09:19.137+02:002011-03-09T02:09:19.137+02:00Excellent review of an excellent writer. Would lov...Excellent review of an excellent writer. Would love to read this book. I know that Bonnie Jo will continue to offer us unforgettable home-grown characters. And she, and you, and many others, will continue to put Michigan on the map of the NY-LA literary world. Ra ra.ShirleyHShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16395781622594618982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-39879055675698771832011-03-03T18:46:40.061+02:002011-03-03T18:46:40.061+02:00Since I'd read this particular book, I did eve...Since I'd read this particular book, I did eventually decide to leave the relationship I was in at the time. I have never looked back, never regretted that move. His problems were only escalating, including anger, pathological lying, repeated infidelity, and denial about addictive behavior. In short, it was an emotionally abusive relationship, and those usually only get worse with time. <br /><br />The book I recommend for others in similar situations is this one, see review link for Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft. It gave me my ticket to freedom. <br /><br />http://zintareviews.blogspot.com/2008/01/why-does-he-do-that-inside-minds-of.htmlZinta Aistarshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14047861403285268505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-42387782462283604232011-03-03T18:30:59.632+02:002011-03-03T18:30:59.632+02:00i didnt know my husband was "on the fence&quo...i didnt know my husband was "on the fence" because he totally shut down all communication with me in a total of 2 months and became very hostile and angry and asked for divorce.. i found this book by his dressser. i sumise he read the book, and with its assumptions of disrespect guided him down a very dark path, where he wasnt before. i read the book and decided our marriage was worth every 30 years we put into it. however, am interested to open up some discussion of the guideline points to understand how he came to his conclusion, only hoping that its not too late now with his newfound hostility toward me thanks to the leave dont stay bias. i hope this book hasnt ruined thousand of marriages already.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18026846177770032554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-91425737413748669672011-02-26T08:17:59.932+02:002011-02-26T08:17:59.932+02:00I don't think Tolle would disagree with your i...I don't think Tolle would disagree with your interpretation of balance. I think he is asking others not to regret or dwell on the past in unnecessary ways. Tolle would have died in a car accident if he didnt think of the future, so of course he does, and we will too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-45030270209590035272011-01-25T14:12:15.008+02:002011-01-25T14:12:15.008+02:00Thank you, Arjit. I enjoyed A Decent Ransom by Hru...Thank you, Arjit. I enjoyed A Decent Ransom by Hruba, too. She has a delicious, dark sense of humor.Zinta Aistarshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14047861403285268505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-32471795377586705552011-01-08T16:16:31.566+02:002011-01-08T16:16:31.566+02:00Now, this is one "bang" review. =)I read...Now, this is one "bang" review. =)I read "a decent ransom", sometime back, and it is an absolute book, too.Er.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11225359974373760374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-12364170569607301762010-12-24T02:51:31.658+02:002010-12-24T02:51:31.658+02:00I suggest you read this review more carefully. For...I suggest you read this review more carefully. For obvious reasons, I can't discuss all 1,500 tips or I would be in danger of writing another un-simple book. The tips are predominantly too general to be useful. I am quite aware it is a coffee table book; my point is that this format is inconvenient for this type of book. It is meant for those who have a hectic lifestyle. Such readers won't usually be found lounging near a coffee table.Zinta Aistarshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14047861403285268505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-64461428652330879262010-12-24T02:45:57.488+02:002010-12-24T02:45:57.488+02:00looks you like you picked on 1/2 half of one perce...looks you like you picked on 1/2 half of one percent of the tips to tee off on, ignored the other 1493 tips, and are unaware that it's a coffee table booksUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08753938444288879543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-660808327307581562010-11-29T12:51:42.276+02:002010-11-29T12:51:42.276+02:00Thanks for the review. Will try to get this book!Thanks for the review. Will try to get this book!Rumshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02614154217264734601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9713631.post-84443919768628601262010-10-11T19:59:56.651+03:002010-10-11T19:59:56.651+03:00Very great review. What I find about reviews is th...Very great review. What I find about reviews is that it's an opinion. The only way to really agree with an opinion is to actually read or watch what is really being reviewed.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01781135426315575502noreply@blogger.com